Uprooted

So after years and years of being the youth pastor, Bible study leader, youth leader, ministry leader or praise and worship leader at a corps, I am in my books a no-one.

It has become so ingrained into my being that I’m finding it difficult to find my way once again. I have been uprooted but not transplanted. With my new job I can not commit on a regular basis because my travel schedule takes me to other places sporadically. At the corps (Sunnyvale) where I still attend, I’ve stepped out of everything except that I occasionally will lead a Bible study or give the devotional sermon during the kids holiness meeting, as a favour to someone who is sick or unavailable that day.

It’s hard not knowing where your place is anymore. It’s also very hard for me to sit back and try not to say anything like a back-seat driver. I have my opinions and I really believe that the leaders put in place right now will not be able to properly do their jobs and have the youth look to them if I keep putting my two cents. Andrew might kill me if I chirp in about the worship team any more.

I did have the young adults (guys) over last weekend (MLK Jr. Day) to have dinner and fellowship. I guess that’s the one thing I can do – is be a hostess. That’s the one thing I’ve always enjoyed doing and maybe now that I have some more time, I will be able to contribute in that way. I think the dinner table is a great place to have discussion and to feed people – well, I think that’s just love.

So I guess I’m looking for outlets now. I want so badly to lead worship, do meaty sermons, make connections with people and impact their spiritual lives for Christ. I also know that God knows my heart and in time, will give me those opportunities or even something else. It’s just hard waiting – that’s all.