Happy Canada Day EH?

In honour of the upcoming birthday of my beloved country, and due to the fact that I am a mind-numblingly bored and fiercely proud Canadian who loves the opportunity to shamelessly promote her country, here is the original "I AM Canadian" ode, along with my jazzed up rendition...enjoy.

ORIGINAL

Hey, I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader....I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dogsled....and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada, although I'm certain they're really really nice.I have a Prime Minister, not a president. I speak English and French, not American. And I pronounce it 'about', not 'a boot'. I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack. I believe in peace keeping, not policing, diversity, not assimilation,and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal. A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch,and it is pronounced 'zed' not 'zee', 'zed' !!!! Canada is the second largest landmass! The first nation of hockey! and the best part of North America. My name is Joe!! And I am Canadian!!!

KIM'S ODE

Hey, I’m not a tree-hugger, I don’t live in an igloo or go to school on a snowmobile, nor do I put maple syrup on everything I eat.

I don’t know Peter Kim, Christine Lee or Esther Park who are Korean but live in Canada…although I’m sure they all go to some Presbyterian church in somewhere in Canada.

I have a Prime Minister, not a president.
I speak English and French, not American.
And it’s ‘rOOf’ not ‘ruff’, EH - not HUH.

I can proudly sew my country’s flag on my backpack, or paint it anywhere on my body during the NHL playoffs. I believe in peace keeping, not being a goon of a bully like good ‘ol Georgie down south. I believe in embracing diversity and ensuring the world’s population is not Americanized. I believe that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal, but that the Maple Leafs, especially their fans, are even more proud and noble.

Famous people can and have come out of Canada:
Mike Myers is Canadian, Nelly Furtado – Canadian, Mario Lemieux – ‘Canadienne’, Jim Carrey – Canadian, Shania Twain – Canadian, Matthew Perry– Canadian, Michael Ondaatje – Canadian, Diana Krall – Canadian, Alex Trebek (Bet ya didn’t know that!) – Canadian, Keifer Sutherland– Canadian, and Pamela Anderson – Canadian…although her breasts, lips, hair and eyelash extensions may be of foreign descent.

A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch, a loonie is not a crazy person, and the washroom IS the restroom (…if what you do in there is resting, then that’s your prerogative). It’s pronounced CA-nada, not cah-NAH-dah, ketchup and dill Pickle are not only condiments, but actual chip flavours, and it is flavours, honour and colour spelled with a ‘U” thank you very much!!!

Canada is the second largest and beautiful landmass, the first nation of hockey and the best part of North America! My name is Kimberly!! And I am Canadian!!!